Willow Complex, Chapter 3

I am lesbian.

No, I'm not.

No, I'm at least bi.

No, I'm straight. Straight as straight can be.

Crap. I don't even know what I am anymore.

Jack is starting to get on my nerves, a lot more than usual. He's getting really pushy, and my patience is running low. To be honest, he's pissing me off. Amber offered to talk to him, but I would never ask her to get in the middle it.

I think I have to break up with him. I don't want to, though! He's my first boyfriend, and honestly, who else am I going to get to date me?

Okay, so the thought has crossed my mind. Amber's lesbian, and I think I might be bi, but what happens if it turns out that I AM straight? Would I really want to ruin my friendship with her?

Besides, we're seniors in high school now, and she might be going off to college, and I plan to stay here and go to community college until I figure out what I want. I never really made a plan for what I would do if I didn't become a stay at home mom.

So yeah, I can't ask her out, even if I break up with Jack. Which I really need to do. Shoot. I need to do this.

I truly totally most definitely need to break up with him because to do otherwise would be leading him on, and I don't want to do that anymore. I need to. I will. IneedtoIneedtoIneedto!

I just texted him and asked him to come over. I need to get him to come over so I can break up with him before I wimp out. I'll tell you about it later.

********

I did it. I truly did it. I called him, and he came over, and we sat on the couch and he tried to start kissing me and I said no.

"Come on baby, I love you," he said, eyes sad, "Please?"

And I said no.

And he said, "Please? For me?"

I shook my head, and he said, "I thought you loved me."

And I almost started crying, but I didn't. I just did it. I told him that I don't love him, and that our relationship was really not going anywhere.

He didn't understand.

I told him that he had started making me feel uncomfortable, and that I wasn't sure that I even liked him anymore.

It sucked. He fought, and he yelled, and he told me that he couldn't believe that he had been so devoted to me for two years, just for me to tell him that I didn't love him. He called me mean names, and he yelled so loud that Grandma came out of her office and told him that he needed to leave.

He yelled at her, and swore at her, and I yelled at him for swearing at her and told him that it really was best for him to leave. He said the F-word at me and went to the door. He started crying and ran out the front door.

After that, I ran into my room and started crying. I couldn't believe that I had just made him cry. I used to think I was in love with him, and I know he was in love with me, and I hurt him. I cried for hours, and then Amber knocked on my door.

Apparently, Grandma had called her and told her what happened. She knew that I needed her to comfort me.

Everything is going to get better now. Problem is, as she sleeps in Lilac's bed, right next to my own, I want to kiss her. She's beautiful, and kind, and caring, and the best friend ever.

I...I'm lesbian. bi.

But how do I tell her? How do I tell Grandma, and Lilac? I know Lilac will accept me, and that Amber would still be my friend no matter what. The problem is that Grandma might not, and she's the one taking care of me right now.

When I'm older and can pay for myself, I will tell her. Until then, I'll just hope that I don't fall for any girls.

Unless it's too late.
I'M NOT CRUSHING ON AMBER!!

Appearances: Again, Jack is TUF's Quirrell, and Amber Duck is TUF's simself!